This portfolio contains all of the work that I have done throughout this semester for this class. After this page comes the the Introductory Essay, then the narrative, then summary and response, abstract, interview, research paper, the poems, and then lastly the run on paragraph. I felt like I did my best work on the narrative. it was a purely creative piece and was fun to make. The poems and run on paragraphs were personal so I never felt comfortable writing or sharing them. My first real assignment in this class was the Narrative, and as I stated previously I felt it was my best work. I was forced to read a Nigerian folktale about a beautiful girl named Akim and seven jealous girls. Then I adapted it myself and then I made multiple analytical responses to its themes. My Summary & Response and Research Paper was based off the theme of social comparison throughout the story. In order to prepare for these essays I did copious amount of research, in order to help prove my thesis. I used the EBSCO research site in order to obtain academic journals relevant to my thesis and then I used http://www.citationmachine.net to cite these sources in order to not plagiarize. My citations can be found at the end of my research paper. Also in order to better our writing, our great teacher Professor Stoler had us peer edit our first drafts. This was very beneficial to me to catch stupid grammatical errors and stupid phrasing. It also made me realize that I have to reads what I write because sometimes I write total bullshit. Also the brilliant,Professor Stoler helped us to limit our use of the passive voice through a little workshop that we did. This helped me so much, however I still have issues with it. This course made me recognize that I still have much to grow as a writer (especially in research/academic writing), and I hope to use the skills that I learned here in the future. Lastly I added pictures of Link, Hashirama, and Isaac Netero, because of my love for anime and video games.

I love you more than life itself, and I value your counsel over anybody. However it is time for you to let me follow my own path. I do not want to be a doctor, nor do I want to be a lawyer. I wish to be what I want to be not what you wish me to be. Please stop diminishing my choices because they do not align with yours. When you were my age you probably said the same thing to your own parents. You decided to leave Nigeria for America and became a lawyer . A dream that was yours alone. So please let me have mine.

I never had a crush before you. When I used to think about my heart used to skip a beat, but now when your name enters my head all I feel is regret. Regret that I didn’t say nothing to you, regret that I let my fear and insecurity overcome me. Now I feel as if it is too late. You are miles away and having the time of your life. When I see your snaps and see that you are happy and growing in confidence, it fills me with a joy that you will never know. All I wished for you and will continue to wish for you is happiness. I just regret what could have been.

My mother may have lived in America for more than twenty years, but she is still a Nigerian woman at her core. She loves amala, jollof rice, and eba, and you would almost never catch her eating a burger. She speaks her native language better than English, and loves to dress in native clothes. I on the other hand only eat Western food, I can only speak English, and you would never catch me wearing Native clothes anywhere. Compared to my mother I am uncultured, despite her multiple attempts in teaching me about her culture. A lot of times I don’t feel Nigerian, and at Nigerian parties I feel completely out of place. And as I grow older I start to worry, what will I pass on to my children?

My mom used to say to me “kill them with kindness”, Edosa. Actually she never said that, she’s Nigerian and that’s not a Nigerian saying. But it is something I like to live by. I like being kind to others, and you can do it through so many simple things. Holding the door open for someone, saying bless you, and simply not being rude are things I like to do. Some may take being kind as a weakness, but in a world where selfishness and evil run rampant , kindness is a strength that I pride myself in.

I can’t stand the subway anymore, it always smells like hot ass in there. I pay 2.75 everyday to the MTA and they can’t afford some Febreeze? Also don’t get me started on how crowded it gets. When I am coming home there is never a time I’m not squished by five other people. Sometimes I wish that I went to a SUNY, but CUNY is so cheap. Also it’s best not to dwell in your past decisions because you will never move on. And I am starting to get used to not getting fresh air now.

Among friends there is typically one person in charge of planning events and deciding what to do. Keo Kirschner a freshman at the City College of New York is that person in her friend group. This role placed on her has caused her to gain a dislike for indecisiveness. Kirschner believes that indecisiveness just wastes time. Being placed into a leadership role, while rewarding for some, it can be a headache for others. Being forced to decide for others can be frustrating as now the person in charge now has to think for others, not just themselves. According to Kirschner, many of her friends are extremely indecisive. “They can’t make a decision to save their lives. It seems like they’ll always rather have someone else — typically me — to decide for them. It’s frustrating to deal with it” says Kirschner. Kirschner is a naturally straightforward and prompt person . It is frustrating for her to constantly decide for others, as their indecision wastes precious time.

Akim was the most beautiful girl in her village and her presence attracted the attention of all who were around her. Her beauty caused the jealousy of many including the seven sisters who decided to trick Akim and trap her in the snares of a river god. Their insecurities and jealousy of Akim blinded them from her natural kindness. Akim’s story explicitly shows the negative effects of social comparison and envy. Today, researchers use social media such as Facebook to study the effects of social comparison and envy amongst teenagers (Charoensukmongkol). Also Facebook and social media is used to study the effects of social comparison on depressed individuals (Appel).  The studies of Steinbeis and Singer study the effects of social comparison of children and their early development. Quintanilla and Giménez-Dasí also research children, however they study the understanding that children have of envious scenarios. All of this research helps explain the connection between social comparison and the attack on Akim. Reflection This abstract was made pretty quick and easily. I liked how it only required two paragraphs so it wasn’t time-consuming to make. Also I wrote this alongside with the mini-essay and it was helpful when I cited my source(the peer interview).    

 OF THE PRETTY GIRL AND THE SEVEN JEALOUS GIRLS

In the land of Ibibio there was once a beautiful girl named Akim whose beauty knew non bounds. She had beautiful full lips, kinky hair that resembled a lion’s mane, and bronze skin which looked like it was kissed by the sun itself. Her beauty was renown throughout the village and was the target of envy for her female peers. Recognizing the jealousy of her classmates, her parents vigilantly took her out of her class in favor of teaching Akim at home.They kept Akim preoccupied with school work and household chores, however this did not take away the attention that she naturally brought to herself. One day while running errands Akim ran into the seven sisters, the richest and most popular girls in her former class. Out of feigned kindness the seven girls invited Akim to participate in a play that they were performing at the end of year, however Akim knowing joining something like that would be against her parent’s wishes politely declined the offer.  The seven sisters who in all of their lives was never spurned by anyone could not fathom that Akim, a mere farm girl would ever reject them. Does her beauty make her think she’s better than us, they thought. Their sudden thoughts of disbelief turned into jealousy and subsequently turned into rage. They all felt a deep need to get back at Akim, even though she did no wrong. Altogether they began to formulate a plan to hurt the innocent Akim . Their plan was well thought out and devious for young, adolescent girls. The annual NewYears Eve festival took place in the neighbouring village, and it was the main event of the year. The Akim’s village and the neighboring village was separated by a river which was the domain of a local river god. While crossing the river during the return journey and return home the river god demanded a gift of two slices of lamb. If one did not meet those requirements the river god would entrap the offender underwater forever. This information about the river was commonplace knowledge in both villages, however the seven sisters knew that Akim was a sheltered child who knew nothing of the world and was willing to bet that Akim would not know anything of the river and its demands. In order to make sure that Akim would go to the festival with them, the sisters decided to befriend Akim and help her with her chores for two months. The two months went by in a flash, and thus the time for the end of year festivities and the girl’s revenge was finally at hand. Akim, the naive girl that she was easily swayed by the sisters into sneaking out and attending the party. When they all reached the banks of the river they were met by a bird named Akpe who took notice of Akim’s beauty and praised her for it throughout the journey. In time they reached the festival which astounded the sheltered Akim. She saw people dressed in beautiful, vibrant colors and dancing harmoniously around a bonfire under the luminous night sky. The vibrations and energy Akim felt from the party compelled her to join in on the festivities and she quickly became the life of the party. This filled the sisters with anger, who were reminded of their mission and sneakily took two pieces of lamb and hid it in their pockets for the return journey. The festival would eventually finish and during their journey home Akim and the sisters found themselves once more at the banks of the river. As they were crossing all of the sisters offered up their slices of lamb to the river god, however Akim not knowing the god’s demands did not bring any food at all in offering and was dragged down into the river in retaliation. Akim screamed and begged for the girls to help her, but her cries were all in vain as the girls pretended not to hear her and went on their merry way.   Unbeknownst to the girls, there was a witness to their evil deeds. Akpe the bird watched the entire scene from atop his nest. In the next hour after the girls returned home, Akpe rushed to Akim’s parents to inform them of what happened. Akpe told them if they hurried there is a chance to save their daughter, however the cost would be steep. They were told that they were to offer their prized cows, chickens, and lambs in order to get their daughter back and like any good parent would they did it without question. They got their daughter back, but they couldn’t be satisfied until the perpetrators of the crime was punished. The parents called for a trial in which the seven sisters would be judged by the wisest of the village elders for what they did to their daughter. The sisters vehemently objected the accusations, but when Akpe and Akim came as witnesses all knew the truth. The Akim’s parents called for the girls deaths however the village elders thought that to be too harsh. Instead they agreed on blinding the girls so they would never succumb to their jealousy of another’s beauty again. In the article “3 Reasons Why Envy and Jealousy Lead to Bullying” the author Sherri Gordon explained that envious emotions can be the root cause of bullying. When a kid or potentially anyone perceives that another is better than them, jealousy occurs. When these negative emotions are allowed to fester it can lead to bullying. This is exactly what happened in this story. The seven sisters perceived that Akim was better than them due to her beauty and no one gave them any positive reinforcement throughout the story to help correct their emotions. Instead they only fed into the sisters jealousy as all the characters such as Akpe openly praised Akim, but disregarded the sisters. This intense jealousy caused them to commit the atrocious acts  against Akim.                                                     Reflection   I didn’t have a difficult time writing this narrative. I’ve always felt confident in my storytelling and descriptive writing. However I do acknowledge that one of my biggest problems in these types of essays is overwriting. In my second draft the climax was excessively long being at least 15-18 sentences long, maybe even more. Also when I wrote in class I made a lot of runoff sentences that lead nowhere and didn’t make any sense. This is why typically I need to read what I write as sometimes it can just end up sounding stupid or excessively wordy. Even now I had to revise my climax and second rising action, which to me are the weakest parts of my story. These are things I plan to work on as I continue to write throughout this year.

Once there was a girl named Akim whose beauty was a source of wonder for all. She was an innocent and kind child, and thus wanted to befriend anyone around her. Seven sisters around her age, jealous of her beauty took advantage of her kindness and and concocted a plan to entrap her in the snares of a river god. The seven sisters acted purely out of their jealousy for Akim and their own insecurities. Envy, the desire for what another has, has been the cause of conflict for generations. In young adults their jealousy and insecurity can lead to bullying and violence. In the article “Highly Attractive Models in Advertising and the Women Who Loathe Them: The Implications of Negative Affect for Spokesperson Effectiveness,” by Amanda B. Bower, Professor of Marketing at Washington & Lee University she argued that some women loathe comparing themselves to highly attractive supermodels in magazines and advertisements. She continued to say that whenever women saw ads with supemodels, women begin to compare themselves with the models causing anger, frustation, and jealousy due to the high expectations of beauty put on them by the advertisements. Bower’s argument that women instantly become jealous and angry when confronted with extremely attractive models is not completely true. She gives a clear explanation of the social comparison theory and how downward comparisons negatively affect a person’s perception of themselves. However she does not take note of many external factors that affect a person’s sense of self. She does not realize that a person can be born with low self-esteem, and people without positive reinforcement from friends and family can develop a bad perception of themselves. Seven sisters attacked a beautiful young girl because of their jealousy and low self-esteem. In “Highly Attractive Models in Advertising and the Women Who Loathe Them: The Implications of Negative Affect for Spokesperson Effectiveness,” Amanda Bower explains that when people see someone that is highly attractive, jealousy tends to occur. Which is exactly what happened in the story.

REFLECTION I don’t think I did great on this piece. I felt as if I rushed making it and inadvertently made it a little sloppily. I bet when i re-read this I am gonna find a ton of grammatical and phrasing errors. I do not think this is my best work and I know I can do better.